THE IRISH MECH VOLUME 1
by jimbink
Summary: this book is really freaking random and to be honest i dont even know what i created


the irish mech volume 1.

Once there was an irish midget who was also an irish soldier from engeland called twan he like many other soldiers from ireland were alchoholic... nah just kidding anyway one day during a field skirmish his apache helicopter got shotdown by a bacon and cheese sandwich twan was the only survivor feeling the end is near he said his final wish what was... TO GET A KICKASS MECH SUIT FUCK YEAH, but ofcourse its impossible to get those in engeland because only japans sells those in their grocery stores but suddenly the heaven enlightened and out of the light came a BIG ASS PINK MECHA SUIT WITH WINGS 2 GATLING GUNS ON THE SHOULDER 20 MISSILES ON EACH ARM AND FREAKING LASER GUNS, SEEING THIS FREAKING COOL GIFT FROM THE HEAVENS HE INMEDIATLY WANTED TO KICK SOME NAZI ASS however he was badly hurt but the heavens gave him because he was a sorry ass retarded weeaboo a free set of anime bandades, twan loving these gifts thanked the gods for these gifts and started with preparing for the attack and after 5 hours of preparing (btw those 5 hours were because of the manual of the mech that was 200 pages long anyway) HE WAS READY TO KICK SOME ASS, HE WENT IN BATTLE GUNS BLAZING SHOOTING EVERYTHING IN HIS WAY HE ENDED UP VICTORIOUS i mean first twans the main character the only time a main character dies is at the end of an story and second HE HAS AN FUCKING PINK MECH anyway. TEARING TROUGH ENEMY FORCES he was stopped by an french girl named nina and her sister pathu they were stalking a dog there who they called senpai but twan accidently shot that dog when he was libberating france ENRAGED BY THIS THE SISTER SUMMONED THERE OWN TWO MECHS THEY WERE BOTH BLACK MECHS BOTH HOLDING A PLASMA KNIFE AND AN ROCKET LAUNCHER, AS BOTH OF THE MECHS PREPARED FOR BATTLE THE SISTERS STARTED THE ATTACK BY FIRING ALL THEIR ROCKETS AT TWAN HOWEVER TWAN USED HIS GATLING GUN TO SHOOT ALL THE ROCKETS OUT OF THE AIR AFTER ALL THE ROCKETS WERE DESTROYED TWAN BEGAN FIRING BACK WITH HIS ROCKET AT THE SISTERS THE SISTER NINA DODGED EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM well all except one that almost penetrated the groin area but lets not talk about but like i was saying SHE DODGED EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM HOWEVER TWAN NOTICED THAT THE SISTER PATHU HAS DISAPEARED TROUGH THE CHAOS AND WITHOUT KNOWING IT HIS MECHS LOWER PART OF THE BACK WAS PENETRATED BY SISTER PATHU'S KNIFE DAMAGING IT HEAVILY BUT TWANS SHOULDER MINIGUNS WERE ABLE TO SPIN 180* DEGREES AND WERE ABLE TOO SHOOT THE MECH OF HIS BACK PULLING OUT THE KNIFE IN THE PROGRESS AS TWAN WAS RECOVERING FROM THE SURPRISE ATTACK, NINA ATTACKED FROM THE FRONT HOWEVER TWAN ENGAGED HIS SWORD CALLED THE, DIMENSIONAL, INTERGALACTIC, LASER, DESTROYER, OF DOOM, JUST IN TIME AND PENETRATED THE MECHS GROIN WITH IT AND THEN SLICED UP DESTROYING THE MECH AND THE SISTER, ENRAGED BY THIS THE OTHER SISTER WENT IN THE OFFENSIVE FROM THE BACK BUT TWAN DODGED IT PENETRATING THE SISTERS MECH FROM THE BOTTOM WHEN SHE PASSED HIM AND HITTING A FUEL TANK BLOWING UP THE MECH AND SO TWAN WAS VICTORIOUS. twan able to win against such odds was happy and was able to liberate france after that he went further liberating country after country not stopping for any resistance. and he finally made it to germany there he started walking trough enemy defences able to defeat them all until he met the armies general Jim starring into the generals eyes he said "OI SURRENDER YOUR TROOPS MATE I GOTTA WANNA GET OUT OF HERE A NEW EPISODE OF MY FAVORITE ANIME FANSERVICE AND MECHS IS GONNA BE RELEASED IN THREE HOURS IN EUROP"" sure " said the general "BUT YOU WILL HAVE TO DEFEAT ME SUMMON MECH MEGA DOOMSBOT OF DOOM" THE GROUND STARTED EXPLODING AS THE GENERALS MECH RISED FROM THE ASHES OF THE BATTLEFIELD "PREPARE YOURSELF BAKA" SCREAMED THE GENERAL AND SO THE NEXT BATTLE BEGAN. WANTING TO GET HIS OVER WITH TWAN STARTED THE ATTACK BUT HE WAS SUDDENLY STOPPED AS HE WAS HIT BY AN NUCLEAR LASER FROM THE DOOMSBOTS SHOULDER NOT KNOWING HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS WEAPON THAT WAS MELTING ITS ARMOR AND BREACHING HIS HULL HE STARTED SCREAMING FIRING ALL HIS WEAPONS BUT IT BARELY DID ANYTHING KNOWING HE WAS GONNA DIE twan accepted his fate and died... JK MOFO SUDDENLY A LIGHT CAME FROM THE WEAPONS IT WAS THE GODDES OF BEING DECENT AT EVERYTHING ANNE AND SHE UNLEASHED HER ULTIMATE ATTACK ON THE NAZI GENERAL or to be more honest she just snapped her fingers and the mech blew up and she only came to help because the noise whas ruining her beauty sleep anyway BEING DEFEATED THE GENERAL well died you dont think an person could survive an gigantic explosion of the vehicle they were in right? anyway. AS TWAN ENJOYED THE SMELL OF VICTORY HE HEARD A CALL FROM BEHIND HIM what basically sounded like something like HEY YOU M*****FU**** RETA**** CO**SU**ER IM HERE FOR REVENGE. TWAN KNEW THAT VOICE IT WAS THE SISTER PATHU HE FOUGHT, HE QUICKLY TURN AROUND TO SEE AN IDENTICAL MECH AS HIS, only instead of rockets gatling guns and an sword they were all lasers, INMEDIATLY GOING IN FOR BATTLE THE TWO EXCHANCHED BLOW AFTER BLOW WITH EACHOTHER FOR AN SOLID HOUR. BUT THEN THE SKIES DARKENED AND THEY SAW AN GIGANTIC MECH COMING TOWARDS THEM ONE THAT WAS 200 FEET TALL(just as an reminder all the other mechs were only 150 feet tall) TOWERING OVER THEM IT WAS HITLER HIMSELF IN THAT MECH AND HE DIDNT HESITATE TO START FIRING THE MISSILES AT THEM PATHU AND TWAN KNOW friends for some reason... man this writer was propably 14, retarded, or really bad at writing... propably all 3 anyway. WITH THERE NEW FRIENDSHIP THEY TOUGHT IT WOULD BE THE BEST DECISION TO GO IN SPACE BECAUSE THEY CAN FLY NOW YEAH BECAUSE WHY NOT... MURICA. NOW BATTLING IN SPACE TWAN WAS SUDDENLY HIS BYE AN FATAL STAB ATTACK FROM HITLER NOT KNOWING IF HE IS GONNA MAKE IT HE DECIDES THAT PATHU'S MECH AND HIS SHOULD FUSE HOWEVER THATS NOT POSSIBLE KNOW SINCE HIS MECH IS SO HEAVILY DAMAGED BUT HE THEN REMEMBERS HIS SWORD HE KNOWS THAT IF HE LETS PATHU USE THE ENERGY FROM HIS SWORDS THAT SHE SHOULD BE ABLE TO PENETRATE HITLERS MECH HE TOLD HERE HIS PLAN AND ENGAGED THERE PLAN PATHU SHOT HITLER IN THE FACE BLINDING HIM TEMPORARILY PATHU OPENED HER MECHS DOCKING STATION AS TWAN WAS ACTIVATING HIS SWORD AS THE DOCKING STATION FINALLY OPENED PATHU SCREAMED "DO IT KNOW" YES SAID TWAN INMEDIATLY PENETRATING PATHU'S DOCKING STATION WITH HIS SWORD FILLING HERE UP WITH THE SWORDS ENERGY SHE WAS ABLE TO ABSORB ALL THE ENERGY IN TIME BUT HITLER SHOT A NUKE, wait a nuke A FUCKING NUKE WHAT THE FUCK WHO MAKES UP THIS CRAP *SIGH* lets continue the story is almost over and then i can get my 5 dollars for telling this crap *Sigh* now where was i oh yeah HITLER SHOT A NUKE AT TWANS HEAD BLOWING IT UP "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" SCREAMED PATHU YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS SHE YELLED CHARGIN UP ALL HERE BLASTERS SHE PENETRATED THE ENTIRE BODY OF HITLER KILLING HIM INSTANTLY AND SO THE WORLD WAS FINALLY save the end... well atleast till the sequel when we get to see tru-


End file.
